An attempt to remember the things (big and small) that matter most

I remember vividly driving over a bridge in Charleston in college: the wind swirling in around me from my open window, the smell of the marsh, the sun setting on my old red Ford station wagon "Eugena", sticky from dried sunscreen mixed with sand and sweat, and Natalie Merchant blaring "These are days to remember.." I thought, "These are the days I have lived for". It was sheer bliss.
Now, fast forward some years. I am a wife. I am a mother of 3. I live in Tennessee, via Alabama. So much has happened! So many sweet moments have passed through the years...but I really can't remember a lot of them. I gave up scrap booking with my dating relationships. I only journal when I'm sad (please remember this if I die and you find them..) or it moments of resolution. I take millions of pictures for my online album but rarely print them. And all the special "keepsakes" of my married life with children are thrown into rubbermaid containers (they are, at least, labeled). My only record of the funny things my kids say and do, insights discovered, or how the Lord has "connected the dots" in life, is found on my Facebook status. That. Is. Pathetic.
And thus, here is my record. A lame attempt (I am not a good writer, witty nor wise) to record the adventures found in the chaos of life. My goal is not so much that it be worth reading (especially by those who don't know me) but rather that it be remembered by a mom blessed by much, and still can't remember the grocery list to take to the store.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Figuring it out?


K's first day

I have officially survived day 3 of this “new season”.  Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotion- so much so that by the time the day was over; I had no words left and little brain cells to process anyway.
Day 2 started the morning in the kitchen, crying as I made K's first packed lunch.  I was sad realizing that this was just the first of MANY lunches I would be packing for him to eat without me. (I know if you just had kids leave for college, you are rolling your eyes, warranted.) I started getting nostalgic over how he eats, how he laughs and plays with his food, blah, blah…My man walks in sees me crying, asks why, and then says, “Look J!  Here is his favorite Elmo book.  You can look at it all day and remember the good times that have passed.” Yep, that would be his gift of mercy/ “try and make her laugh” approach (bombed).  Then at breakfast, the girls prayed for the day and included K’s “first day to make friends, not get in trouble, and learn how to read"” and I cried some more. THEN my man walks into K’s room as I am making beds, dressed in his “returning to the old job” clothes.  He looked so comfortable and happy, I cried again.
The day was a steady paced jog through various events. I dropped K off, went for another curriculum visit to once again view options…I FINALLY BOUGHT CURRICILUM ONLINE. After reviewing all my options, I decided I didn’t want any. I bought a boxed set. Done.  Anyway, A did school work- English, Math sheets, and some online games.  “There’s a great site that has games, but I can’t remember what it is…Oh, wait, I’ll just google it…here is it…found it.  See mom?” OMG-ness. My 7 year old just did a successful search on google and I didn’t know she knew how.  We had lunch with some friends,  picked K up….After getting him from his room, he tried to direct me to the room AG was in last year. “Uh OH mama- we need AG-her room there!” SO dear- and then a "bless his heart."
Now for the transitional hurtles: AG comes home SO EXCITED to see A. All she wants to do is hug her, and play with her, talk to her, follower her.  She is an exhausted ball of adrenalin. A has been “home” all day and even had a good day, but is a little jealous and bursting with control issues. (Yes, an unfortunate genetic trait of our family on which an entire reality show could be based.  No drama would have to be created. It already runs high) The collision was sad. AG pouring out words of love, and affirmation “You know you are the most valuable person to me A.  I love you.  I will always love you”. And A’s response, “ I know, AG, I know.” Leading to some more not so nice things that I cannot write as I need to forget them.  Obviously since then, I've been on my knees seeking wisdom and voraciously reading sections of my favorite parenting books.  I know it’s transitional issues- I am there too.  But how to guide and teach through them?! It’s funny how often (like all the time) I forget that learning is a PROCESS, not a one-time lesson when addressing matters of the heart, soul and spirit. 
We had a good day today too…some of the same, adding in a trip to the Children’s Museum in the middle of the day.  Some similar dynamics when AG got home from school but we addressed it. Consistency will be my challenge and my battle cry.  If you see me with my face painted blue carrying a flag and running up and down my front yard, you’ll know why.
ON a sweet note, we have had several impromptu dance parties in the girl’s room- dancing to Disney songs and the like.  All 3 kids dance and laugh and swing each other around.  It’s these endearing moments I want to remember.  K galloping around and doing the “monkey dance.  A adding in stuffed animal partners.  AG twirling (her favorite move). We made cocoa krispy treats for  “Cookie Tuesday” (it was too hot to bake).  The kids LOVED the salad with grilled chicken we had for dinner (?!).  And we all had an extra big slice of raspberry yogurt oreo pie after dinner. Top it all off with a painful-at-times episode of “America’s Got Talent “ before bed, then…quiet.
K supporting A during her reading time
Off to re-read my new “favorite book”- Aren’t They Lovely When They’re Asleep? Lessons in Unsentimental Parenting by Ann Benton.  So much to learn, so little time- but generally pretty fun and still super blessed.
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