Cross my heart and a few more things not to forget

One of the things that we’re working on in our house is telling the truth..it’s apparently a big struggle for some of us under our roof.  Whether it’s about who hit whom, if the room is clean or the mess just hidden, if the teeth have really been brushed (a easy one to test) or just being sneaky, it’s a battle here. And even if you take the Christ-like view out of it, telling the truth is still a pillar of character in the world of ethics (which I will choose to believe still exists out there). I asked one friend, how to deal with the untruths that occur throughout the day.  She told me not to give them the option to lie if it’s not necessary.  It’s shouldn’t be “did you hit your sister?” when I know for a fact (thanks to the large whelp across her arm) that she DID, rather, “why did you hit your sister”….which of course, leads into a much longer needed teachable moment that I continually, lazily, avoid or gloss over in my own overflow of emotion. IN one of these moments when I DID take the time to process through this (this time over saying things were completed when they weren’t) I said “telling the truth is not something you DO, it’s something that you ARE”.  I was momentarily impressed with myself as it sounded somewhat profound- which is rare for me.  AND I’m sure I read it somewhere and just can’t recall where- as I have a few, if any, original thoughts…but later in the day it hit me, how true it is, not just for 7 year olds that are building the foundations of who they will become, but also for mom’s that are still trying to stabilize the building that’s built on that foundation. AND believe it or not, I actually had some time to THINK and REFLECT about that. My man went off to hang with a friend for some back porch time (much needed) and it was just me, my current book I’m reading, my “incomplete thoughts” journal and the Great Listener/Motivator. I flashed back to this morning when I was listening to Buster Brown talk about Jude.  One illustration was regarding what people would say about you when you passed, in your obituary. Then I fast forwarded through my day (it’s not nearly as interesting at normal speed) and I realized how many inconsistencies I have in how I function throughout my day….connecting dots….a few snapshots of quick tempter, moments of pine-sol obsession (yes, I cleaned today), some self-righteous/martyr moments, impatient “JUST DO IT- NOW!!!!!” explosions, and a few redeemable moments and I am about as consistent as the weather. Which brings me to the LAST dot in the picture for me.  If I am to BE the example for the principles I am teaching, I fall short LOTS.  Now, I’m not bashing myself.  I am an OK mom, etc.  But I am not who I am to be- or even close to where I’d like to be.  I was reminded once more that it is not my words and teaching moments of wisdom and understanding (that are few) that make impressions on my kids, but rather my actions. I am reminded that my “deeds” are filthy rags, and that I should  “take every thought captive”….And at the heart of it all I really DO want to be what I need to be for Him, for His kingdom, and for my kids.  AND just about when I’m about to sigh with sad frustration, I remember that I too, am a work in progress. I may not hide all my clean clothes under my bed (for my pendulum has swung in the other extreme) or stomp my feet and throw myself like a rag doll in a fit of rage across the room (although I may be doing that on the inside).  I am a work in progress. And when I forget this or choose to ignore it, THEN I’m in trouble. Truth, Hope, Grace, Love.   That’s mostly what it’s all about in the end.  Seriously, I’m telling the truth. I promise.

A few quotes etc..

Getting ready to run some errands, I tell A all I need to do is go put on some make-up and we can leave.  She says “It’s OK mom, you already look beautiful as you are. I mean, moms are supposed to have wrinkles and look a LITTLE tired, so it’s ok. You look good.”

AG coming in the door from school “ Watch out everyone!  AG is IN THE HOUSE!!!!”

AG to her 5 year old crush (who was wearing a long star wars t shirt, 3 strings of Mardi Gras beads, and a kool-aide mustache)  “You are SUCH a MAN!”…in an empathetic, dreamy voice.

“There’s a boy at soccer who’s a bully.  His name is Seven- but he’s eight.   And Seven told Betty she was a cheater”.- AG

From our friend Kim (regarding Nutcracker Auditions) “When I came in this afternoon I asked her (A) how auditions went.  She said great and she loved it and went on to tell me the different parts she would like.  She asked me to come watch and when I said 'of course' she was happy with that answer.  She said she would smile at the people that came to see her....cause they would be there for HER.  She made sure to tell me it wouldn't be a 'mona lisa' smile though and showed me what a 'mona Lisa' smile looks like.

“What kinds of things did you have to do for the auditions?” I asked A.  “Kicks, leaps, arabesques, and ‘Sausage rolls”…Not quite remembering that step from my short ballet career, I had to ask A’s friend for clairification “ – Chasse (Cha-sa).  Apparently A heard an extra G, and was hungry enough to add the roll?

K’s main sentence of the past few days, “No mama. NO!” (whine, whine…time out)

“I hide-ee” (I’m hiding”)  “I hold you”, “YOU sit mama, wit me.”  “I NO GO nite-nite”

“daddy, we go Jon Ru house"




Cookie for Cookie Tuesday: Heath Bar Chip
Book: Still reading "Jim and Casper Go to Church"- HIGHLY recommend it so far!

Clicking along- A basic update…

         Week two is almost through and things are going well. Our new pastor was installed on Sunday and my man has hit the ground running.  It’s exciting to see his wheels turning again and be passionate about the adventures that await.  It’s one of the things I love about him and attracted to me to him way back in the day.  He loves Jesus, teaching, and having fun.  And now after the holding pattern of the past few weeks, he (thus we) is jumping back in! 

AG LOVES LOVES LOVES school.  She is loving her teacher, her friends- old and new- and is most delighted about PE, buying lunch (?!) and learning to read.  She brought home some papers yesterday and told me sit down.  “I am now going to read this to you mom, are you ready?”  And shaking with delight as she held her “paper book” she read, “AM.  I am.  Sam am…I CAN READ! ” See?  It’s the little things- or words, like am- that make life so grand! She an A are also getting along famously. That is a HUGE relief after that first week. They are so happy to retreat to Polly Pocket and Pet Shop land after school. AG did announce to her friend on the way to school that her parents “let her drink beer” (what?!- wait don’t call DSS yet!) Then said it was ROOT beer and it’s made from roots and is bubbly, but can come in bottles like her dad’s “juice”. I can only imagine what she is telling kids at school.  She asked her principal at the Saturday workday on the grounds if he was a “wrestler” because he was” “big, hot, sweaty and had a bandana around his head”.

K now screams and points at “ma kool” whenever we pass where he goes to pre-school.  He also can’t get out of his car seat fast enough when they are getting him out of the car.  Thankfully, I am still greeted with screams of delight when we come to pick him up at the end of the day.  Like clockwork, the first thing he says when he gets in the car is “want nack”. I’m delighting that it’s now only 90 degrees, so he can once again be free to wander around the back yard, finding sticks and exploring on the hill. And so far, the mosquitoes haven’t carried him away yet either. He is officially all boy (besides being Ken’s mini-me) and gets SO dirty, sweaty and smelly- such a huge difference from the girls.

A and the lily pads (see the one she wanted to sit on

A and are both loving home school. It’s been a blessing to have opportunity to dialogue and discuss things as opposed to me telling her something  and her responding or visa versa.  We have a great little routine (she loves the “schedule”) and can get done with all our work in about 3 hours. Last week we learned about the scientific method and the Venn diagram- the highlight being going to Across the Pond (an outdoor store) and actually observing and investigating lily pads (as opposed to making one out of a Styrofoam plate).  She LOVED it…we put rocks on the lily pads to see how they would hold mass, and where is was best placed.  We did not damage any plant-life and only lost one rock.  They did have HUGE lily pads, that A could have fit on- and wanted to try.  But I told her that if it didn’t hold her up, she would kill the $1000 coi fish that were swimming below! She also loves Rousseau (“who never took a painting class!”) and loves the math (especially the supplemental games on the computer), and reading (we’re reading a short chapter book almost everyday).  Now handwriting will be our challenge. We are running out of room on the fridge for her to display her work of which she is most proud.  We did try and embrace the “flexibility” of our schedule and went for a walk with my man one morning too.  A and I agreed- as we thought it would be fun- not realizing that we were signing up for a 4 mile walk up and down hills and down the busy street nearby.  Poor A had to walk her bike (or it had to be pushed by her daddy) up several of the significant hills.   We made it!  But trying to get on task with school afterwards was like pushing mud. Obviously, we work best first thing in the morning. She has also become interested in the content of commercials (from a discussion on advertising) on TV and now asks me if every teenager we see “uses Proactive” on their skin…so much for study breaks!

            In consistency with my weaknesses in life, I am STILL not remembering as I should. Call it age, blame it on hormones, or “sometimers” (as opposed to altizimers), but it has had several causalities.  Whether it be forgetting to cook the brisket for my dear friends dinner party, putting the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cabinet, or realizing I have a hair appointment 5 minutes before the fact, I have become ultra dependent on lists. And after seeing a commercial yesterday, I am going out this morning to buy those removable labels and double sticky post-it notes.  It will be my new twist on decorating my kitchen etc I am sure.  If I haven’t returned your phone call, forget to come to a party/shower, or miss soccer practice, just throw a “bless her heart” my way. And you may want to put a back up plan in place if you ARE counting on me, just in case.


Cookie Tuesday  cookie of the week: White Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut

Book of the week: Jim and Casper Go to Church by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper

           

“Jim, if a stranger comes up to me and starts professing his faith, it’s easy- too easy- to say that dude’s nuts.  But when people take the time to tell me about themselves, give me the context for their story, give me names, places, and times, it makes a lot more sense”  (matt)

Ready or not! Here I come!

I have decided that this season is a little like playing Hide and Go Seek.  I’ve mentioned that to a few people and the more I think about it (during the time I HAVE to think) the more I think it’s true.

I am definitely playing the game with lots of people, big and small, that I love.  And as everyone is hiding and I am looking for them.  The adventure is fun.  I don’t know exactly where anyone is hiding (what the day will hold for each person in relation to me) nor do I know what will happen when I find them.  They may pop out and surprise me laughing (AG), delighted that they have been found.  They may give me an angry “roar” as the jump out (K) and pretend to be vicious and run after me.  OR they may sigh with disappointment (A) but the game is not going as expected because I found them too soon, too late, etc. Throw in the additional analogies of the unexpected, misinterpreted, or unknowns of the day and it is quite a game. I am glad I am playing but am glad that at least I didn’t make up the game or the rules!

The biggest adjustment this week is my lack of words, or rather how quickly they are used up.  I think that women are supposed to have at least 2400 per day, right? I think I have spent most of mine by 3pm.  However, AG is not in same boat as me.  I think she may have easily double the words and the energy. I am slowing evolving into an inside introvert (I need an hour to fuel up in the morning and at least 30 minutes to recharge in the afternoon).  AG IS the energizer bunny.  Just like on “30 Rock” when Pete comes to work early to get sometime by himself to drink coffee and “be”- but then is later discovered by Kenneth.  Kenneth realizes Pete is there and decides to join him during his cup of coffee and talk about randomly varying subjects.  By the middle of the show, Pete is shoving thumbtacks into his hands, etc just so he can have some kind of emotional release.

I get up before the break of dawn so I can get my ducks in a row and spend some time praying, reflecting, and sit and “be” with my cup of coffee. And then AG shows up besides me with a “Good morning mom!  Are you talking to Jesus? What are you doing?  Aren’t you glad I got up early? I already made my bed, but I can’t find my clothes? Since I’m up early, I can spend some time with you? What are we having for breakfast?  Is dad at work studying?  What color am I supposed to wear? “   The first morning it was sweet.  I pulled her into my lap and she sat with me while I read and even gave me a few minutes of silence.  The second day, I very kindly told her it was too early and she needed to go back to bed (“But I’m already up- that’s OK mom!”  But by the third day, I squeezed out a civil reply. (“Nice to see you.  Why don’t you go sit on the couch for a little bit”) but on the inside I wanted to slam a stapler on my forehead as I pleaded inwardly to Jesus, “PLEASE I just need a little time- how will I make it the whole day!?”

That’s when I was reminded of Him saying, “ My grace is sufficient for you”. SO I am spending more time taking deep breaths, taking short visits to my happy place, and staying in the “bathroom” a little longer when necessary. The most amazing thing is that AG comes home from school with the same energy and “need for people”.  I have tried giving her undivided attention, playing with her for 30 minutes, having her help me cook…She still follows me around LITERALLY LIKE A SHADOW…so if you call, I will not be able to talk on the phone due to incessant listening ears… And what I’ve come to realize is this:  Someday, she won’t want to be near me, want me to know what she did that day, or what she wants to do. She won’t want to sit in my lap every time I sit down or help me even clean windows and the toilet. Thus once again, I am brought to the “And be thankful” of 1 Thessalonians 5. It is still echoing in my head.  And apparently it needs to be because it hasn’t penetrated my thick skull or my selfish “all I want is what I want, when I want it- control freak” heart. SO when you are up early in the morning, think of me- and say a prayer.

Guess I better wrap this up - it’s 6:15 and I hear little feet dancing down the hall towards the kitchen. Seriously.  J

A fly on the wall- a few quotes

Here are a few things my kids have said that I don't want to forget. There are many more, but I have already forgotten them.

After visiting a couple antique stores on K’s day off A’s says to K, “Dad, can we go look at some other furniture stores? Can we go to Pottery Barn? I’m tired of looking a dirty furniture and stuff”


Watched a kindergartener do a juggling act in the lunch line today as she picked up her tray, milk, spork, napkin, pulled money out to pay the lunch lady, selected an ice cream, and finally emerged at the other side looking disoriented. She proclaimed, "This is INSANE!" Lunch lines are no joke for a five year old. (Friend’s Facebook status re:AG)


After expressing fears about what would happen at soccer practice, I told A, “You know it always helps me to remember that I have help from the Lord when I’m afraid. He tells us in the Bible, ‘don’t be afraid for I am with you’ and ‘do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worry of it’s own’.” A’s response: “Mom, are you making that up?”


“Mom, I know I just said something funny. Does that mean you’re going to put it on Facebook?”- AG

Blessings revealed in Transitions

 Back in my early 20’s, I read a book called Hinds Feet in High Places.  After reading it I joked that if I were the main character in that book my name would have been “I can do it all by myself- my way”.  Call me a typical first born, but I have always preferred to be “ in control” with the pride and stubbornness that comes with it.   Now I KNOW that this struggle will be the thorn in my flesh for many years to come, yet I can’t help but realize how the Lord has graciously humbled me, taught me, and brought me a little further to where I’m supposed to be.  I’m not being proud, I’m just flat out thankful that there is hope along this road for growth!

When K first mentioned transitioning to the interim position in the “big church” I cried.  I didn’t just cry, I had a tantrum. I came up with a million reasons why that wouldn’t be good- for ME. I liked teenagers.  I liked our family’s rhythm.  I didn’t feel comfortable engaging with adults in conversation- unless they shared the same passion for youth. I couldn’t lead committees, or women’s Bible studies, or be THE “pastor’s wife”…the list went on and on.  And finally Ken asked, “Did you marry ME or YOUTH MINISTRY?” Telling question. In that moment of irrational emotion, I couldn’t answer.  This lead to a 3-month transition of my heart.  I called my precious friend and mentor, Cathy, who helped me process the “ME” out of the situation and finally arrive at what the LORD’s will was for the ministry, church and our family.  By the time I got there, I was ready and willing to take on the challenge. It wasn’t any of my resolutions or insights that brought me to that place.  NO, it was relinquishing control to the One who knows all things and the assistance of many honest friends that spoke truth to me (and rebuked me when necessary), encouraged me, and supported me.

(Lead in to background music  “We’re All in This Together”” from High School Musical)  I need community. I need the “covenant” family. I need people that KNOW my weaknesses, my sinful tendencies and me, to surround me and love me- NOT BECAUSE OF WHO I AM BUT IN SPITE OF WHO I AM.  That is one of the many ways I am sharpened, challenged, and grow.   I DON’T know what I’m doing- how to be a wife, a mom, a pastor’s wife. I need help!  It has given to me in abundance- and it continues!!  I am NOT “I can do it all by myself- my way” I am “lost, broken, and love/need Jesus”!!  Thus, I am thankful for all those who surround me.

-I have learned to put my family FIRST. They are to be my “youth group”! I can plan things for them, teach them, process with them, and play with them.  Sadly, this has been a struggle as I love ministry and sometimes at the expense of those under my roof.

-I'm not supposed to live up to the expectations of others- or what I perceive to be their expectations. I have to do what I am called to do- even if it means saying “no” to other good things. Oh, a direct hit to an "approval addict".

-I am not in the drivers seat. I need to open and willing to go the way of the day- even if it’s NOT what I expected.  Whomever said there is “joy in the journey” I should add- even if you aren’t programming the GPS!

-People are more important that a clean house. HUGE, HUGE struggle for me.

(“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing- Phyllis Diller)  The mess and the dirt aren’t going anywhere, but people do. So I’m now trying to let my house get dirty, instead of obsessing. I keep telling myself, “Someday, I’ll have to clean a clean house, and I’ll be sad.” (More evidence of the “control”….I know, I know..) Small steps...sometimes forward, sometimes backwards.

-Being transparent in the end is easier than pretending/denying that anything is wrong.  I thought I had learned that long ago in the days of my post college  “nervous breakdown” with help from my therapist, Eleanor.  But I have re-discovered the freedom being honest. If you admit something’s “broken” you can fix it, and others will be able to help.  If you ignore it, it festers and the end result reveals more damage. And being transparent isn’t usually easy- it can be embarrassing and painful- but worth it in the end.

-Community is important in the development for family, faith and FAMILY.  Having others around, investing in my children, makes up for my/My man’s deficiencies.  There so much that my children can learn from others- mercy, kindness, appreciation of things in life- that they couldn’t learn from us. It’s the reality of “it takes a village”. But even in that, I am learning boundaries.  The “village” can’t do it all!

-Be thankful/joyful always. There is something to be thankful for in every situation.  That’s not any of my old “over-done denial" optimisms, it’s just true. And looking back there is MUCH to be thankful for- the good and the challenging.

SO my “life verse” for this transition- as I move into another:

“Be joyful always; pray continually; Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will in Christ Jesus” I Thess. 5:16-18 

I'm excited about this next adventure- it's ups and downs and bumps along the way. I can stretch and prepare with confidence as the jog begins.  And can't wait to see how things continue to change and grow as the fire hydrant of life's lessons are turned on once more. 

"Let us, then, be up and doing

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait"

                     -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Figuring it out?

K's first day

I have officially survived day 3 of this “new season”.  Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotion- so much so that by the time the day was over; I had no words left and little brain cells to process anyway.

Day 2 started the morning in the kitchen, crying as I made K's first packed lunch.  I was sad realizing that this was just the first of MANY lunches I would be packing for him to eat without me. (I know if you just had kids leave for college, you are rolling your eyes, warranted.) I started getting nostalgic over how he eats, how he laughs and plays with his food, blah, blah…My man walks in sees me crying, asks why, and then says, “Look J!  Here is his favorite Elmo book.  You can look at it all day and remember the good times that have passed.” Yep, that would be his gift of mercy/ “try and make her laugh” approach (bombed).  Then at breakfast, the girls prayed for the day and included K’s “first day to make friends, not get in trouble, and learn how to read"” and I cried some more. THEN my man walks into K’s room as I am making beds, dressed in his “returning to the old job” clothes.  He looked so comfortable and happy, I cried again.

The day was a steady paced jog through various events. I dropped K off, went for another curriculum visit to once again view options…I FINALLY BOUGHT CURRICILUM ONLINE. After reviewing all my options, I decided I didn’t want any. I bought a boxed set. Done.  Anyway, A did school work- English, Math sheets, and some online games.  “There’s a great site that has games, but I can’t remember what it is…Oh, wait, I’ll just google it…here is it…found it.  See mom?” OMG-ness. My 7 year old just did a successful search on google and I didn’t know she knew how.  We had lunch with some friends,  picked K up….After getting him from his room, he tried to direct me to the room AG was in last year. “Uh OH mama- we need AG-her room there!” SO dear- and then a "bless his heart."

Now for the transitional hurtles: AG comes home SO EXCITED to see A. All she wants to do is hug her, and play with her, talk to her, follower her.  She is an exhausted ball of adrenalin. A has been “home” all day and even had a good day, but is a little jealous and bursting with control issues. (Yes, an unfortunate genetic trait of our family on which an entire reality show could be based.  No drama would have to be created. It already runs high) The collision was sad. AG pouring out words of love, and affirmation “You know you are the most valuable person to me A.  I love you.  I will always love you”. And A’s response, “ I know, AG, I know.” Leading to some more not so nice things that I cannot write as I need to forget them.  Obviously since then, I've been on my knees seeking wisdom and voraciously reading sections of my favorite parenting books.  I know it’s transitional issues- I am there too.  But how to guide and teach through them?! It’s funny how often (like all the time) I forget that learning is a PROCESS, not a one-time lesson when addressing matters of the heart, soul and spirit. 

We had a good day today too…some of the same, adding in a trip to the Children’s Museum in the middle of the day.  Some similar dynamics when AG got home from school but we addressed it. Consistency will be my challenge and my battle cry.  If you see me with my face painted blue carrying a flag and running up and down my front yard, you’ll know why.

ON a sweet note, we have had several impromptu dance parties in the girl’s room- dancing to Disney songs and the like.  All 3 kids dance and laugh and swing each other around.  It’s these endearing moments I want to remember.  K galloping around and doing the “monkey dance.  A adding in stuffed animal partners.  AG twirling (her favorite move). We made cocoa krispy treats for  “Cookie Tuesday” (it was too hot to bake).  The kids LOVED the salad with grilled chicken we had for dinner (?!).  And we all had an extra big slice of raspberry yogurt oreo pie after dinner. Top it all off with a painful-at-times episode of “America’s Got Talent “ before bed, then…quiet.

K supporting A during her reading time

Off to re-read my new “favorite book”- Aren’t They Lovely When They’re Asleep? Lessons in Unsentimental Parenting by Ann Benton.  So much to learn, so little time- but generally pretty fun and still super blessed.

The day of lots of words

Let the talking begin...

the day of lots of words 

It was a good day of firsts. Everyone woke up happy and smiling. I dawned my signature color, black (sorry Stacy and Clinton), and we had special "chocolate chip waffles WITH whipped cream from a can" for breakfast. The morning drop off to kindergarten's first day went smoothly. K's visit to his pre-school classroom was as expected. And A's completed 4 pages of review work with sentences and capitalization and read an entire book. We went visit to the home school curriculum store that is closed on Monday, picked up a few things at Publix and had a visit with a dear friend in the dairy isle, the library for books, and got home in time to read with A, clean the floor, have a piano lesson, cooked dinner for family and friend, get the kids to bed and remember that there is NOTHING on TV to watch on Mondays. And thus, I hold true and fast to my mantra, which I will also most likely have inscribed on my tombstone (hopefully in addition to scripture), "I got a lot done". Perhaps the most surprising occurrence of the day was K’s sudden ability to speak in sentences. Seriously, before today, we were hearing 2-3 words at a time tops. Usually some interpretation is needed by myself or one of the sisters. But something happened last night while he was sleeping for this morning new communication had evolved.
Here are some of the highlights:
"I go in daddy's bye bye wit you" - I want to go with you in daddy's car
"I no want a toot-ie, tink two bo" - I don't want a cookie but thanks though (!)
"I no more chikn nugs, I want nack" - I don't want to eat my growing food, give me the junk
AND my FAVORITE, which MADE THE DAY WORTH WHILE
A's said "I love you K" and HE SAID " I LUB YOU TOO A'S"!!!!!! My heart melted and I thought to myself "There is hope!"
All of his words were not so appreciated, especially when shared in song.  Loudly at the top of his lungs, for 10 minutes (seemingly an eternity in the silent surroundings), he sang "daddy's on da bas day read, read, read, read, read, read" over and over and over in the LIBRARY!!! Yes, cute, even clever (since we were surrounded by books), but I have never seen so many "reprimanding" looks in one short span on time. 
Not to be overdone with the gift of talking, AG danced in the door after school and dramatically grabbed me by both hands, led me to the couch and said, " MOM, you MUST sit down.  I need to tell you all about my day!  IT was fantastic!" And with all the enthusiasm of a girl home from her first date, she described all the "most wonderful" events of the day. Colored a self portrait (NOT mixed media, just crayon- she said), sang some songs, went on a BEAR HUNT AND ate TEDDY GRAHAMS, went to PE AND she choose to take her nap RIGHT by the door in case there really was a bear and it came back.  She really wanted to see it. Honestly, looking back on the time from then until bed, I don't think she really ever stopped talking.  And there was only one tantrum although there was a good bit of emotional frustration a few times.  
A's and I had a good time with "school" the highlights being reading aloud and together, and discussing various "facts" about things...some she made up, some she learned from the science channel. SHE talked non-stop in the car getting Keller to "say this" or commenting on all she was seeing out the window. (Please remember back to the movie "Forget Paris" when the grandfather is riding in the car, reading EVERY sign- pretty close comparison.) She was also proud to show me that she already KNEW some of what we were learning. But just for the record, I STILL have not actually purchased curriculum.  You would think I was buying a house with all the stress, worry, research and avoidance invested in this decision. Somewhere in the back of my head is a quote from Tim Keller in Counterfeit Gods that addresses that. But I think I will ignore that today too. Just call me Scarlet O'Hara- proof that I have a long way to go in sanctification.  SO, all in all, not a bad day. A pretty basic example of what the rest of the days ahead will hold.  And somehow, I managed to write an awful lot about not much. Imagine that.  

Let the transitions begin...

Yes, I am a little weepy...

Let the transitions begin!

I always joke that as women, our lives are nothing but small intervals of living in the middle of transitions. The biggest crisis times in my life have been all related to if not caused by transition. Thanks to going to a therapist, being a therapist, and walking with the One who is directing it all, I'm starting to almost embrace them as adventure as opposed to dread the changes that come. This does NOT mean that I smile and jump up and down when I see them approaching.  I usually cry with each milestone reached by my kids, spend extra time on my knees with big decisions, and hold my breath during "long term planning meetings" with my husband...and now I'm doing a little bit of all three.
As of tomorrow, K (2)will be going to pre-school, AG (5) will go off to kindergarten, I'm going to homeschool A (7) for second grade (?!), and my husband heads back to his old job. Some of this has been anticipated. K needs to go to school- his 2 year old self needs some socialization and constructive adventures as opposed to painting his body with petroleum 

jelly, re-inacting tornados in the playroom, and escaping outside in only his diaper.  He is at such a fun age when everything he says and does is funny- and he's still super cute- and knows it.  AG is in a class with all her dearest buddies with the same teacher her sister had. She'll LOVE having new people to talk to (I'm guessing it will only take a week for her bus to be moved for excessive talking in class), and can't wait to read and write like her sister.  I'll miss her laugh, and maybe even some of her constant pining for attention...and I'm bracing for the "emotional explosions" that will be compounded from a long day as school.  And as for A- never thought I'd homeschool, but I am.  I'm excited about the time with her and forging into unknown territories of education with a second grader.  As of this minute, I am still swimming in the options of curriculum- a funny place for a person with commitment issues to be. AND tomorrow, my man will be officially transitioning back from being the "IP" (interm) pastor to the "TP" (Transitional/special butterfly) pastor on the road across the street to being "Youth and Families" pastor once more. 

The traditional shot

So, tomorrow it begins at 5:30am. My cup of coffee with Jesus, making lunch with Robin of CNN's Headline News, a special breakfast (TBA) and the race to get everyone ready, smiling, and posed by the front door for the traditional "first day of school" picture. 

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things"- Robert Brault